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astrology & relationships

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synastry        midpoints        make your own composite chart       compatibility      sexual astrology
There is an assumption that astrology must hold some magical secret that determines who gets on with who, which sign will provide your ideal partner and which your best lover (not necessarily the same thing).

A lot has been written in order to meet this assumption, but sadly most of it is nonsense. There is no magic formula, no golden rule or set of rules. No-one should make such decisions purely on the ideas of an astrologer.

anna karina
synastry could a relationship reading work for you?
synastrya synastry study takes two birth charts and produces a combined relationship chart.

Synastry is a specialized astrological study carried out for two people and based on their individual and merged charts. It is used for any sort of combination - couples, business partners, parent/child, sporting team-mates etc.   Most people have an idea that certain signs go well together whilst others are badly matched. Whilst it is based on an element of observed truth, that element is both very small and also a massive generalisation. For example, Aries subjects generally have a common characteristic that makes them good soldiers. An Aries characteristic that suggested the sign not to mix well with say, Virgos might be seen as a firm rule by a Virgo not to take up with an Aries but this would be equivalent to saying that all Aries subjects become Generals.  That said, there will very often be some areas where an Aries and a Virgo would have a lot to work on, (as between many potential pairings of signs) but having to work at a relationship is very often a very good and strengthening thing. A synastry study should be personal - based on your data and your partners, it can't be general. A good synsatry study will be expensive - the astrologer needs to analyse two charts in great detail, and then a third - the combined chart. More than three times the work involved in producing a birth chart and analysis.
generic charts
One of the benefits of computerised astrology, aside from the number crunching, is the 'generic' analysis.  In short, once an astrological event has been analysed and written up, the information can be stored and, with a good system, automatically recalled whenever that event occurs in a reading. Moon conjunct Pluto will always have the same basic interpretation wherever and whenever it occurs, for example. In this way, a computerised synastry study can be run.  The caveat here is a simple one - if your personal chart analysis by this generic system is impressive, it is likely that the synastry reading will be fairly good too - generalised, of course, but with useful pointers. Remember, though, that a good synastry study will not just look at Moon conjunct Pluto, it will look at Moon conjunct Pluto in terms of both person A & person B, and with reference to their relationship and the rest of the data. A human element is essential.  I will run generic synastry (mainly because few people are prepared to run to the fees for a 'hand-built' study!) but I edit it and interpret the generic data very specifically.  Sadly, many synastry readings invoke the old saying about horses and stable-doors. Where this is the case, it is necessary to use the reading towards finding some insight on what didn't work, or perhaps needed more work.  'If I change, will it then work?' is often a question, but it begs more - can you change? - should you? - and - why should the other person not be changing?Aside from the character and behavioural traits of the people involved, which is all that synastry considers at a basic level, there are additional dimensions involved, not least other people and specific events. External influences can change and modify the characteristics that synastry works from. A study can incorporate specific dates in addition to the principle dramatis personae. You can look at not just your Moon and John's, but at your Moon and John's on a particular day. And maybe Gertrude's too (names have been made up to protect the innocent, no reference to any real John and Gertrude is intended).
composite charts
But let's say, your interest is in the person you met just yesterday, and in the hot date you've set for the weekend... could a composite chart be useful?  For one thing, it would be great way to test it out!  The probem is, you would need the other person's birth data, and I'd recommend that you were up front about it - it's a novel(ish) way of breaking the ice.  You could lash out and get a synastry study done (you could even have horoscopic synastry for the up coming date in addition to the character/behaviour stuff).  If you have a passing aquaintance with astrology - this site features all the basic information you need, for example - you could actually have a go yourself with just a simple birth chart for each person, to make a basic composite chart of the potential relationship.  You need to calculate your midpoints.

A composite chart is created by taking the 'midpoints' produced by the combination of the couples' corresponding planets. Each sign is composed of 30 degrees, and the signs are continuous round the zodiac from 0 degrees to 360: 12 x 30. For a composite chart you take the whole numbers of the signs and add them up.

The Zodiac is:
aries  from 0 - 29 degrees taurus  from 30 - 59 gemini  from 60 - 89
cancer   from  90 - 119 leo   from 120 - 149 virgo   from 150 - 179
libra   from 180 - 209 scorpio  from 210 - 239 sagittarius  from 240 - 269
capricorn   from 270 - 299 aquarius  from 300 - 329 pisces   from 330 - 359

So, if your Sun is at 20 degrees of Aries your Sun number is 20. If your partner’s Sun is 8 degrees of Sagittarius it is 248 (in degs of the whole zodiac, Sag starting at 240degs),. Add the two of them together, 20 + 248 = 268, then divide by 2, which gives 134. That means that the midpoint of your Sun and that of your partner is at 14 degrees of Leo (which starts at 120 degs). This is the Sun for your composite relationship chart.
     Do the same for all the planets: the Moon, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, Chiron, and the North Node. Also for your combined Ascendants and for the Midheaven. Once you calculate all the above, you have a very detailed chart of the relationship you share with the person in question.  Bearing in mind how simple this study is, you will also have a very clear idea of just how much astrologer's earn their fees!

You will need to use on-line references to interpret the chart you've made, or find a good Astrology textbook - I recommend Parkers' Astrology, its in all good book stores.

One last point - I mentioned the need to have your birth data (and your partner's) - you will not be able to produce an accurate relationship chart without birth times.  The Ascendant & MidHeaven are an essential part of a relationship chart and without accurate birth times they will just be guesswork, the Moon's position could also be wrong.

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So long as you accept the generalities inherent in the process, basic astrological info does give a working idea of which signs you are most likely to attract, and which ones are most likely to attract you - sadly, these two things all too often don't match. Which pretty much proves my point really - what makes a relationship work involves so many factors - it's not all sex and shopping, but for an idea of pure astrological sex appeal check below...

elementally speaking:
the elements distinguish character 'modes' - thought / intuition / sensation / feeling
Air Signs:  ( thought) Libra, Aquarius, Gemini
will be more drawn to Fire signs & other Air signs. Earth signs may prove to stolid for quicksilver air intellects.
Earth Signs:(sensation) Capricorn, Taurus, Virgo
Will be more drawn to Water signs and Fire signs. The breeziness of Air signs can prove too impersonal.
Fire Signs:  (intuition) Aries, Leo, Sagittarius
will be more drawn to other Fire signs, and Earth signs. The characteristic emotional dependence of water signs can smother fire's energy.
Water Signs: (feeling) Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces
Will be more drawn to Air signs and other Water signs. The outgoing and flamboyant fire signs can be just too much.
The energy, creativity and flamboyance of fire signs sees them attract a wide range of other signs but attraction does not necessarily equate to lasting relationships, where Water signs tend to be the most attractive long term bet. The earth signs hallmark is dependability and practicality, while the air signs are traditionally the most awkward to combine with.

the qualities indicate character types: dynamic Cardinals / self-assured Fixed / changeable Mutables
Cardinal Signs:  Libra,Capricorn, Aries, Cancer Can work well with Mutable signs but may dominate
Fixed Signs: Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Scorpio Get along best with other fixed signs
Mutable Signs: Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, Pisces Can find the fixed signs to rigid and inflexible
It's more often the case that you'll get on readily with other signs of the same quality or element, but especially where the quality is shared.  The sharp eyed will observe that the polar opposite signs are found within each quality - eg in Cardinal you find Libra-Aries and Capricorn-Cancer.  Could it be that opposites really do attract?
sexual astrology
Things to look out for - and do try to get through this with a straight face. I couldn't, so I won't blame you. Astrologically speaking, sexual attraction is likely to exist when one partner's Venus aspects the other partner's Mars (stop sniggering at the back).  There is a strong, magnetic attraction if the Venus in one chart makes aspects to the Uranus in the other, but negative aspects such as the square could see the Uranus partner playing hard to get. Bite your lip because there is yet more. Mars aspecting a partner's Neptune can generate an imbalance of over-romanticism in the Neptune person conflicting with an aggressively sexual Martian.  And finally, when Mars and Uranus are linked there will inevitably be tension... You can say that again!

On a less specific level, knowledge of your own sexual 'character type' and that of your partners can be aided by this tongue in cheek summary of the placements of Venus or Mars in the birth chart.

aries When Venus or Mars is in Aries, sex is at it's best when it's spontaneous. These lovers are prone to crushes, easily falling head over heels and turning life upside down for their new amour. They have to have someone to adore. Aries type lovers eat people like air and hate any restrictions. Often addicted to the conquest. Their heads are erogenous zones—they love it when you run your fingers through their hair. They can be selfish in bed, impatient and quick. They often skip through foreplay to get right to the point. Aggressive and fast, they are nonetheless sincere and enthusiastic if not always constant. Their desires are powerful indeed. While other signs may be most aroused by the romance of the moment,  both male and females with this position are especially aroused by their partner's sexual organs, plain and simple.  The sign most likely to wake the neighbours.
taurus When Venus or Mars is in Taurus, turn-ons involves all of the senses. Touch and smell are supremely important to these most physical of sexual partners. No frills sex is quite fine, as long as the mood is right and there is plenty of physical contact, and they don't have a reputation for spontaneity or variety, but they are good at what they do simply because they are truly right there with you. Celibacy is virtually impossible for Taurus, so finding a regular sex partner is particularly important. Their stamina during love-making is long-lasting and their style is natural and physical; intellectualizing the sex act would only serve to baffle Taurus. The sign most likely to wear you out.

When Venus or Mars is in Gemini, talking turns them on - use words in bed with them, it doesn't have to be rude but something mor inventive than the weather forecast would be in order. They also love to kiss! Oral pleasures are the speciality of the house with these lovers. Role-playing excites them, as long as it is varied. Altogether they are great fun in bed, if you can cope with their sudden bursts of speech in the depths of passion. An intellectual conversation may put you off your stride, but to them it's all a part of foreplay. Sometimes over ambitious about what they can manage, these lovers are highly enthusiastic and very curious, though not especially wanton and promiscuous by nature. Their tendency to 'over-think' sexually brings up many "buts" and "what ifs" surrounding sex and what they might actually do. They are less driven by their desires than they are by their intellect.  The sign most likely to start a discussion at the most intimate of moments.


When Venus or Mars is in Cancer, you could get one of the sweetest and most sensitive of lovers. romantic and coyly gooey with you. Provided their switch hasn't flipped when you'll see a pouting and slightly paranoid display, suspicous of your motives. They are often turned on by master-slave scenarios, and may like you to be a little mean and aggressive in bed, as long as they know you love them. They need to feel controlled, to a point, provided your motives are overall loving. Often turned on by the idea of making a baby, a response to the home and family nature of Cancer, they are known as the sign most attracted to breasts - they generally like their men to be macho-masculine and their women ultra-feminine, at least in fantasies. They don't always let on what turns them on, expecting you to sense their needs. Their style in bed is protective and soothing.  The sign most likely to worship you.

leo When Venus or Mars is in Leo, you will need to express something close to worship! Although they will take great care of their partners in bed, their natural inclination is to get off themselves. Their pride compels them to be the best in bed and this can result in very great attention to the partner's needs. Some want a mate they can show off, but many prefer not to have two stars in the same household and can be both possessive and extremely jealous. They may even slyly put partners to the test. Attracted to inequality in sexual scenarios, they won't let you always play the supporting role, they are just as attracted to seeing you on top, as it were. These people don't easily separate love and sex, their most erotic fantasies are infused with love and deep affection. This often leads to them coming on too strong, and being impatient when their own needs are not met, but their direct sexual expression, and their openness in bed can be highly refreshing. The sign most likely to make you feel worshipped.

When Venus or Mars is in Virgo, there is a healthy attitude towards sex, their daily stresses and tensions are naturally released whether it's with others or just with themselves. They are turned on by unusual people and people who often pass unnoticed. Simple and sweet is the way they like their bed partners. They also get turned on by the idea that they are your slave and love doing little things for you, getting worked up themselves when they see that you appreciate the things they do. They can be insecure about their own bodies, and make up for it by paying close attention to their methods of turning you on. They are also drawn to imperfections and have the best time with a partner who shares insecurities. They'll make a project of them, and their partner will never feel so specially attended to with anyone else. They are insatiably curious about sex, although many don't take their curiosity much beyond fantasy, their fantasies often feature the downtrodden and inexperienced. They can be turned on by playing naughty, slutty and wicked roles - voyeurism is also especially appealing to these lovers, who can display a delightfully decadent streak - within a secure relationship. Indeed this sign is often misunderstood and is not as picky and particular as is thought. They want to please and like to be streetwise in the lovemaking arena, often "doing" more than most other signs within the confines of a healthy relationship. The sign most likely to have more than one porn dvd.

libra When Venus or Mars is in Libra, extra care will be taken to please the partner. Provocative in a quiet way, their need for balance and perfection in their relationships may manifest itself at all the wrong moments. In bed, they want things to be fair and balanced.  They have a strong need for change and growth in their sexual expression and are givers in bed, but they fully expect you to give equally in return. Although they can be pushed around for a time, their lovers must be aware that the best way to keep them happy is for everything to be fair. They can be particular when it comes togetting the mood and atmosphere right while making love - what many think of as Virgo traits are actually Libran. Make them happy, however, and you have a lover who is going to think about you and your needs. These lovers can charm the birds out of the trees when they want to. The sign most likely to make you feel guilty.

When Venus or Mars is in Scorpio, the sexual nature can be quite complex. In fact, forget the 'can', it will be. These lovers show intensity and depth in their desires, but they vary in expression depending on their changeable moods. While some enjoy power and are attracted to breaking taboos, willing to do almost anything, and they enjoy full-body pleasures, others express their need for control by being unavailable and abstaining for long periods of time, giving in only when they feel their partner is deserving of them. Most manage to be both these things and given to keeping their partner guessing what mood they are really in. This can be hugely and delightfully surprising, and guaranteed to be exhausting, or just as hugley frustrating. Whatever their nature, they have a way that promises commitment and intensity in bed. They are provocative but private, and absolutely the most passionate of all signs. Sex is intimate and personal for Scorpio, and most will never kiss and tell. The sign most likely to give you one night you will never forget.


When Venus or Mars is in Sagittarius, sex is treated rather like a sport. These lovers are athletic, direct and forthcoming with their desires and needs. They have an almost innocent frankness about them, and they love to have fun in bed. Laughing and roughhousing are huge turn-ons but they can be selfish in sex, and their need to "get off" will almost always be expressed. Games, though, are acceptable for Sagittarius lovers, just as long as they are not too time-consuming. They have little or no patience with playing hard to get and beating around the bush (possibly not the best choice of words on reflection). The same goes for excessive sentimentality, possessiveness or over-romancing. The best way to approach sex with these people is to just do it, and then talk about it later. Approach them with a philosophical slant and you'll have them hooked. The sign most likely to tell you what you are doing wrong, while you are doing it.


When Venus or Mars is in Capricorn,straightforward sex is generally best. Simple and lots of it. Capricorn-type lovers are often attracted to experienced, and sometimes older, partners - but when the Capricorn is female, especially,  the reverse can also often be the case. They often prefer strong, powerful lovers who display some sort of authority or know-how. Capricorn's earthy nature shows up in their love-making style—it's generally no-frills that is most appealing to these lovers. They can be quite happy with consistency, as variety is less important to them than is security in sexual expression. And quantity of it. Their sexuality is, however, deep and powerful. Though they are often quite private about what goes on in the bedroom some will want others to know that they are on top of things in their sex life, if avoiding the details. The sign most likely to have a toyboy, or a sugar-daddy.


When Venus or Mars is in Aquarius,there can be a "take it or leave it" style that can be sexy or maddening. Sometimes, too, a period of demanding passion will abruptly turn into a spell of chilly abstinence without warning. They don't have a reputation for warmth in sex, although they may well think otherwise because, at least in theory, they are open-minded, curious, experimental and find of sensation. They like to give off an air of being savvy and cool in bed. Sex from a distance - at arm's length, as it were,  is often where they shine and cyber or phone sex, or affairs that don't break up marriages, can be especially attractive to these folks. They are most turned on when you are not, as detachment can be a real turn-on for them. A challenge.  Conversely, the more up for it you are, the less they will be. Unless you are miles away on the other end of a phone. The idea of sex is generally more exciting to these lovers than the actual act. Their fantasies often involve getting caught having sex, and they are attracted to people who are a little offbeat or odd.   The sign most likely to have more than one vibrator / sex toy.

pisces When Venus or Mars is in Pisces, flirtation is the buzz word. Generally open to all of the avenues of sexual expression, and all the nooks and crannies, they are forgiving and bending, and they are generally willing to please. Often romantic and sentimental, these lovers are actually a bit like chameleons adapting to whoever they are with. It's hard to pin them down to any one type. They may talk a lot one evening, and be the most sociable person on earth, but be withdrawn the next, needing their solitude and space. In general, they prefer non-verbal expressions of love. Self-sacrifice, compassion, and even religion can be mixed into their sexual expression. They're very sensitive, and very forgiving. They'll even let you go if you insist, and love you forever anyway. Although they can be shy and yielding, their lovers can sometimes find them maddeningly detached and spaced. Attracted to the underdog, thedowntrodden and the needy, their fantasies are intricate and detailed. The sign most likely to make you breakfast in bed. 
© Jeremy Rogers 2007, 2008, 2009 Document made with Nvu return to top